George

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. -- George Bernard Shaw
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me... they're cramming for their final exam. -- George Carlin
“Gravity is the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age”
What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
They seem to all been born on holidays.
The George and Dragon
The George and Dragon A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town. The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze. Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths, and a mahogany bar with brass rails, polished to a shine, they went up to the bar and asked for a room. "Rooms cost £20 per night, we don't accept euros, and you must be out by 7am tomorrow, or else you pay for both days." "Alright then, could I get something to eat ma-" "Kitchen closed at 6, and I am not going back there until 11am tomorrow, no matter what you say. Anything else?" "Yes, could I please talk to George?"
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A man is constantly asking his wife for a threesome for his birthday
and every year the wife says no.

This continues on for several years, until finally the wife has enough and finally agrees.

“Ok George, yes you can have your damn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?”

George quickly responds with... “Well, do you remember Sarah who works in accounting at my office?”

“Yes, of course.” the wife responds.

“Well, with her." Said George, "and one of her friends.”
George Burns
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
What do you get when you cross Sonic The Hedgehog and Curious George? 2 Fast 2 Curious
Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and squished a booger out of George Washington's nose.
What did Boy George say to Micheal Jackson? "You Beat It, and I'll cumma cumma cum."