Quick Jokes

What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.
I like my foods just like how I like boys
Steaming hot.
And I'll give it a quick blow before putting it inside me
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost?
The nearest Shell station.
It’s your birthday at last
You’re getting old fast
Each year whizzes by
Oh how time does fly
So put on your skates
And have a quick blast
Before it’s too late
And your whole life has passed
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
I forgot to put on deodorant this morning, so I went to the store on my way to work.
It was a quick pit stop.
Two Blondes and a Car Two blondes were exiting a restaurant when they discovered, to their horror, that they locked their keys in their car. The one blonde says to the other, "What do we do? Do we get a coat hanger and pick the lock?" The other one replied, "No, people will think we're trying to break in." The other one said, "Well do we get a knife and cut the rubber and pop the lock?" The other one answered," No, people will think we're too stupid to use the coat hanger." The other one said, "Well we better think of something quick because it's starting to rain and the sunroof is open."
What do you say you poke-check me real quick?
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
Where did the Adansonia tree go to get a quick trim? To the baobarber.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the hell am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a u problem".
There once was a young boy named Nick,
Who by chance was always being kicked.
He tried not to fight,
For he was smart, kind and bright,
So he learned how to run really quick.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
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