Jokes > Tags > Dry

Dry

Why do cows have no money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
“I cannot go to school today,"
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more--that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut--my eyes are blue--
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke--
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangn
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
A young whore who came from Lahore
Would lie on a rug on the floor.
In a manner uncanny
She'd wiggle her fanny
And drain your balls dry to the core.
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked
doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---
Acowboy enters the saloon
"Who painted my horse blue??"

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

"It was me, you have a problem with that?"

"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
Yo Momma so poor she has to hang her toilet paper out to dry.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
How does the Pope dry his hands?
He uses a Papal towel.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.