Pick

[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”
Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”
“Not a problem,” he replies. Just go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.”
After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.
“Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
A programmer's wife says: "Run to the store, and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?"
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
just witnessed a chicken try to pick up a piece of corn for 5 minutes,
ImPeck-able.
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