Quickly Jokes

His Special Birthday Request There was a man who was very happily married, but, every birthday he would have the same fantasy request for his wife: He wanted a threesome, and every year the wife says no. This continues on for several years, until finally the wife has enough and finally agrees. “Fine Sam, yes you can have your darn threesome. Who do you want it to be with?” George quickly responds with... “Well, do you remember Sarah who works in accounting at my office?” “Yes, of course.” the wife responds. “Well, with her." Said Sam, "and one of her friends.”
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
A packing plant received a load of lettuce to process. The workers grabbed the boxes quickly from the top and the bottoms fell out spilling the produce.
The boss yells, grab the boxes by the bottom, or heads are going to roll!
Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
I once knew a man who lived in a jar.
For a stranger sight you’d have to go far.
I asked him once why he lived in a jar.
He grimaced and said, how bizarre you are.
My jar’s so cozy, warm and bright,
Even in the full moonlight.
The only drawback is, you see,
Getting out quickly when I have to pee.
(Irwin Mercer)
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
“Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work.” – Earl Nightingale
Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says
"No swimming without supervision."
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
A brief Wellington
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower, or vacuum cleaner." – Ben Bergor
The First World War ended very quickly because they were Russian.
“I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.”

- John Steinbeck.
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