Candle Jokes

My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
If you were a jack-o'-lantern, I'd totally light your candle.
The Priest and the Candle Mrs Rosy Jones was going to the market in New York where she happened to meet Father Patrick..... Father: "Hey, you are Rosy right? I got you married in New Jersey, when I was posted there". "Yes Father" Says Rosy. "How is your husband and the little ones ?" "Husband is fine but so far, no children". Father Patrick: "Don't worry, child. I'm going to Rome next week. I will light a candle for you there." "Thank you, Father Patrick." After some years, Father Patrick happens to meet Rosy again. "Hello Rosy, how's everything? Did you have any kids?" "Yes Father. I have three sets of twins and two singles. Total 8 kids". "Wow! Where is your husband?" "Oh, he's gone to Rome all of a sudden... Said something about blowing off some candle."
You are as a candle, the better burnt out.
If I'll give you a birthday cake,
will you blow my candle?
Hey, boy are you my birthday candle?
Because I wanna blow you.
I'm not the brightest candle on the cake,
but you can still blow me.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Are you sitting on a candle? Because your booty is on fire.
Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti,
Cinnamon bun.
These global delights,
make eating such fun.

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon;
Or Danish roast ham.

Add a fresh fruit salad,
Some sparkling wine,
A candle, red roses and
you’re ready to dine.

(Joanna Davis)
What do a witch and a candle have in common?
They're both wicked.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I'm burning a gold-scented candle.
It has a very rich aroma.
Another candle on your cake?
Well, that's no cause to pout.
Be glad that you have strength enough
To blow the d*** thing out.
“The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree." - Steven Alexander Wright
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