Promise Jokes

If you jingle my bells I'll promise you a white Christmas.
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Hey, let me take you out on a first date in the snow - I promise I'm not a flaky person.
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
Just promise you won’t tamper with my heart.
If you declare me sovereign of your pants I promise I can do no wrong.
For you, nothing in this world
I would ever trade
You are more precious to me
Than a dazzling Jade
From every troubles of life
You have given me bail
Today I promise that for you
My love will never fail
Hold me tight dear and I promise to send all my loving to you.
Date an astronomer, because they can promise you the sun, moon, and stars, and deliver!
Just like I never play with poop, I promise you that I will never play with your heart.
A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.
A most notable coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.
“Never break a promise to an animal. They're like babies—they won't understand.”

― Tamora Pierc
I promise I'm good for more than just a one-timer.
A Friendly Suggestion A man bumps into an old high school friend he hadn't seen for a number of years. His old friend was notorious for bragging back in high school - about his possessions, achievements and relationships, so he wondered if much had changed in the time since he last saw him. It wasn't long before the man realized his old friend hadn't changed much at all - on and on he rambled, talking about his amazing job, his huge mansion and the new Porsche he'd just bought himself. At one point, the old friend pulls out a photograph of his wife and shows it to the man. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" the old friend asks. "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend," replies his exhausted friend. "Why? Is she a stunner too?" "No, she's an optometrist."
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
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