My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries. She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
A man bumps into an old high school friend he hadn't seen for a number of years. His old friend was notorious for bragging back in high school - about his possessions, achievements and relationships, so he wondered if much had changed in the time since he last saw him.
It wasn't long before the man realized his old friend hadn't changed much at all - on and on he rambled, talking about his amazing job, his huge mansion and the new Porsche he'd just bought himself.
At one point, the old friend pulls out a photograph of his wife and shows it to the man. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" the old friend asks.
"If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend," replies his exhausted friend.
"Why? Is she a stunner too?"
"No, she's an optometrist."
Lying on his deathbed, an elderly man made his final request to his wife:
"Honey, I'm almost out of time and there's something I'd like you to do for me when I'm gone."
She nodded her head and said, "You can count on me. Anything you ask, I'll make sure it's done."
"I want you to wed my buddy, Jacob," he said, his voice filled with emotion.
Astonished, his wife replied, "Jacob? But I thought you couldn't stand him!"
He smiled and looked into her eyes as he answered, "That's precisely why..."
For you, nothing in this world I would ever trade You are more precious to me Than a dazzling Jade From every troubles of life You have given me bail Today I promise that for you My love will never fail
Date an astronomer, because they can promise you the sun, moon, and stars, and deliver!