Wearing

Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress.
Police chief: Please just wear your police uniform.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Why did the teacher tell Jamie she was wearing too much makeup? Because she was wearing too much makeup.
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman
He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"

The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Darn thing's an hour fast."
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
“Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas. I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that’s pajama-y. Good night.”
Rebecca Romijn
In another town, the cowboy rides in wearing a paper suit. Paper pants, paper jacket, paper chaps. Even a paper holster!
He wasn't in town ten minutes before he was arrested for rustling.