Turkey

When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"

Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
Kenny Rogerson
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.

Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?

Ask a friend to toss one at you.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.

We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What’s the best way to deal with a turkey?

Have it killed and then cran-bury it.
What’s black, white and red?

A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?

You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?

He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”

That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?

It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.

If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.