I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I, the third one, have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here’s how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
'Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we made wild love all night.'
Then I had to share my story:
'When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
“What’s for dinner, Zorro?”'
Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask
Yo Mama so ugly her mama put rubber bands on her ears so that people would think that she was only wearing a mask.
The Dentist and the Viagra
The other day, a gentleman went to the Dentist's office to have a tooth pulled.
The Dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give him a shot.
"No way! No needles! I hate needles", the man said.
The Dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man immediately objected.
"I can't do the gas thing either; the thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"
The Dentist then asks the gentleman if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection", the man said. "I'm fine with pills".
The Dentist then returns and says, "Here's a Viagra tablet".
The gentleman, totally at a loss for words, said in amazement, "WOW, I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"
"It doesn't", said the Dentist, "but it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth."