Pretty

Adam and the Witch
Adam and the Witch A man named Adam walked along a forest trail, when suddenly he was stopped by an evil looking crone, who calls herself a witch. The witch screeches at him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed!" Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive." Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely will be cursed!" Adam: "Nope. You're hideous." The witch then transformed him into an ant. Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! " Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato." Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!" He is still adamant.
“You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own.”
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If your gonna be two faced, honey at least make one of them pretty.
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?

Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
I dressed up as bacon for halloween.
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
I asked the land beside the ocean if he was certain he wasn't beach.
But he was pretty shore.
Nurse: Wow, that cut looks pretty bad...want me to stitch it up for you?
Me: No, thanks.

Nurse: Fine. Suture self.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
That new vet really screwed up my pig's colonoscopy
He's pretty ham-fisted
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.