Hand

What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
How many Conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The invisible hand does it.
Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?"

Little Johnny: "Big hands!"
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
I bought a second hand time machine the other day.
They don't make them like they're going to.
“How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.”
Emo Philips
If you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other, what have you got?
A bloody big moth!
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
The 13 Funniest Things Said During a Colonoscopy
The 13 Funniest Things Said During a Colonoscopy 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!' 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' 5. 'You know, in Turkey, we're now legally married.' 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!' 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' And the best one of all: 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
What did the police officer say to the hand?
Stop! You are under a wrist!
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.