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sinonimos y antonimos Jokes

sinonimos y antonimos Jokes and more.
Wine Puns
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Deer Puns
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
Space Puns
Which channels do the asteroids like to watch? The comet-y channel.
Valentines Day Puns
I fence-y you.
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
Jokes For Women
Why are men se*ier than women? You can't spell se*y without xy. Why are men like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells and don't work half the time!
Funny Haiku
Wooden door; wide and creaky.
Sculking cat; snide and sneaky.
Skeletons; cold and clanky.
Madame Witch; old and cranky.
Ancient paintings; strange and spooky.
Watching eyes; crazed and looky.
Blackest bat; fast and flappy.
Venus Flytrap; mighty snappy.
Wailing ghosts; always moany.
Piano playing on its owny.
Time to go! Scream and shouty!
Read the sign – ‘No Way Out-y!’

- Julie Anna Douglas
Math Pick Up Lines
Hi, I hear you’re good at algebra… Will you replace my X without asking Y?
Ghoul Puns
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
Phone Puns
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
Rainbow Puns
Did you hear about the B I V G R O Y rainbow?
The poor thing has a deviated spectrum.
Christian Pick Up Lines
You can take me home tonight, but only if Yuletide-y up your place.
The Mightiest Animal
A lion was walking proudly through the savanna, his head held high surveying the land before him. He comes across a boar, who cowers at the sight of him. "Hey, boar, who is the mightiest creature in the savanna?", asks the lion. "You, sir, of course", said the fearful boar. "Correct", said the lion, and moved on. He then comes across an antelope. "Hey, antelope, who is the mightiest creature in the savanna?", asks the lion. "Y-y-ou, s-s-ir", said the trembling antelope. "Darn right!", said the lion, and moved on. He then comes across an elephant. "Hey, elephant, who is the mightiest creature in the savanna?", asks the lion. The elephant, without saying a word, grabs the lion with his trunk, spins him around, and tosses him into a nearby muddy watering hole. The lion slowly crawls out, mud dripping, and mutters under his breath, "The temper some animals have... he could have just said, 'I don't know!'"
Ghost Puns
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
Physics Puns
My physics teacher asked, “So why is v-naught 0?”
I replied, “y-naught?”
Cherry Puns
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Nuts Puns
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
Ogre Puns
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
France Puns
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.
Egg Puns
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
Appliance Puns
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
Giraffe Puns
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
Math Puns
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Divorce Puns
How are relationships similar to algebra?
Because sometimes you look at your X and wonder Y.
Color Puns
A bear's least favorite pastry at any party is the blue bear-y pie.
Cheese Puns
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
Turtle Puns
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Chess Puns
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
Puns
I was only taught 22 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know Y TBH.
Bread Puns
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Bus Puns
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
Name Pick Up Lines
What a great match, guess you could say its my Luke-y day
The Same Tattoo
A white guy goes to Jamaica on vacation. On his first day there he goes to a bar. After a few drinks, he goes to the bathroom. As he pees, behind him enters a Jamaican man who walks up next to him and begins to relieve himself as well. The white guy glances unintentionally and notices the Jamaican man has a penis tattoo. Surprised he claims, “hey! I have the SAME penis tattoo as you! Starts with a W and ends with a Y.” The White guy happily shows his tattoo and says “Look, I got ‘Wendy’, for my wife” The Jamaican laughs and replies “Nah mon, they aren’t the same, mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day’!"
Zombie Puns
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
Spring Puns
What is the shortest month of the year?
M-A-Y.
Clever Jokes
Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X, she's not coming back, and no we don't know Y.
Quotes
“Sometimes I’m so tired, I look down at what I’m wearing, and if it’s comfortable enough to sleep in, I don’t even make it into my pajamas. I’m looking down, and I’m like T-shirt and stretchy pants? Yup, that’s pajama-y. Good night.”
Rebecca Romijn
Watermelon Puns
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
Peach Puns
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
Tea Puns
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
Love Puns
I whale-y like you.
Dad Jokes
When's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y.
The Old Lady and the Bold Question
A little old lady with blue hair entered a se* shop and asked in a quivering voice, “Yy-youuuung man, dd-do y-you, sell-l d-didildoes h-hhhere?” The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady’s appearance in his shop answered, “Uh, yes ma’am, we do.” The little lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, “Dddd-do y-you ha-ave any ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?” “Well... yes ma’am, a few of them are about that big.” “D-do aa-ny of them ha-ave a v-v-v-vibra-a-ator?” “Yes ma’am, one of them does.” “W-w-ell, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?”
Bear Puns
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Donut Puns
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Parrot Puns
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Funny Work Quotes
“If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.”​ — Albert Einstein
The Cheeky Nurse
A male patient was lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four-hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse came into his room, ready to give him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,” he mumbled from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replied: “I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body.” He struggled to ask again: “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Concerned that he might elevate his vitals from concern about his testicles, she overcame her embarrassment and sheepishly pulled back the covers. She raised his gown, held his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around and around gently. Then, she took a close look and said: “No sir, they aren't. And I assure you, there's nothing wrong with them!!” The man weakly pulled off his oxygen mask, smiled at her and said, very slowly: “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely.... “A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?”
Beaver Puns
Knock Knock!

Who is there?

Beaver Y.

Beaver Y. who?

Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Grass Puns
Last week, I met someone who specialized in the studies of shrubs and grasses. He called himself Neil De-grass-y Tyson!
Fall Puns
I'm acorn-y person.
Toilet Puns
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.