I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
All farts...are laughing gas.
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that sh**!
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.