A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
All farts...are laughing gas.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?