I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
Cut a piece of poo into three pieces today.
Now I have turds.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?
Officer on doody!
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
All farts...are laughing gas.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.