I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What is an unlimited phone plan? A limit cannot be charged.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"