What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
What happens when you cross a cell phone with a skunk?
You get stinky service!
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
What group of people always had the highest cell phone bills?
The Romans.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
What happens when you cross an iron with a telephone? You get a smooth signal.
I swear I was born in the wrong generation. Nowadays everyone is addicted to their phones.
I wish I was born in the 80's when everyone was addicted to Cocaine.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
Did you hear about the cell phone that got arrested?
It was charged with battery.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
What do you call a loud conversation? A megaphone.
I was on the phone with my wife and said, "I'm almost home, honey, please put the coffee maker on." After a twenty-second pause, I asked, "You still there, sweetheart?"
"Yeah," she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now"
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.