My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
The rancher's Wifi wasn't working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
Was going to change my password to MilkyTea but apparently that's too weak.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.