What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
A good workman doesn't blame his fools
\*tools.
Stupid keyboard.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why did the computer spy get fired?
She couldn't hack it.