How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Q. What happened when the computer geeks met?
A. It was love at first site!
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I want anarchy
Because my keyboard is missing one.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
I felt sad for my brother's computer being overclocked because I heard the processor say, "Stop it! It hertz so much!".
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
If a cat broke your computer...
Would it be that an error has o-purred ?
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
Don't use the word "EGG" for your password...
It's very easily cracked.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
It's okay password...
...I'm insecure too...
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.