Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
Why did the monkey like the banana?
Because it had appeal.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!