Trust Jokes

Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
I don’t trust grey things.
They are very shady.
"Never trust a skinny cook."
– Iain Hewitson
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
Are you a pizza at a Chinese buffet? Because I want you, but can I trust you?
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
Why shouldn’t you trust a guy who claims he “wears the pants”?
He probably lies about other stuff too.
Why can't you trust zebras?
Because they're convicted horse felons.
Why does no one trust the man on the moon?Why does no one trust the man on the moon?

Because he has a dark side!
In Desperate Need of Whiskey A man walks into a bar and briskly orders 12 of the most expensive whiskey shots. The bartender lines 12 up shot glasses and fills them up. The man quickly downs all 12 of them back to back and taps the bar, “again.” The bartender looks a little surprised, but lines of 12 more shots. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.” The bartender, visibly concerned, fills up 12 more shots and lines them on the bar. The man quickly downs all 12 shots and hits the bar, “again.” The bartender says “hold up man! You gotta slow down!” The man says “trust me, if you had what I had, you’d be drinking this fast too.” “My God,” says the bartender, quietly leaning over the bar he asks, “what do you HAVE?” “A dollar.”
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
Tiger vs. Dog A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he is lost. Wandering about he notices a tiger heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he notices some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching tiger. Just as the tiger is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man! That was one delicious tiger. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the tiger halts his attack in mid-stride as a look of terror overcomes him and slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the tiger. "That was close. That dog nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put his knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the tiger. So, off he goes. But the dog sees him heading after the tiger with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the tiger, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the tiger. The tiger is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving dog." Now the dog sees the tiger coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" Instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another tiger, and he's still not back!" The tiger ran away.
"Nobody expects to trust his body much after the age of fifty." - Alexander Hamilton
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