Why did the Communist wait till the last minute to cross the road?
He was Stalin.
How many birds can cross the road?
Toucan.
Why did the corn cross the road?
Because it was being stalked.
Why did the doctor cross the road?
Hard to say really. Could be any number of reasons.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was playing Fetch with a boomerang.
Why is everyone mad when the pig crosses the road?
Because he’s a road hog.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it thought it was a chicken.
What kind of cat always crosses the road?
A jaguar.
How do animals know when to cross the road?
The chameleon changes from red to green.
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
It had to get from hare to there.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Why did the cat cross the road?
Because her owner told her not to do it.
How did the sushi cross the road?
It was rolling.
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t — the road moved back underneath him.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was Thanksgiving Day, and it wanted people to think it was a chicken!
Why didn’t the bicycle cross the road?
Because it was two tired!
Why did the monkey cross the road?
Because the chicken retired.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
It was picking up the chicken’s feathers.
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
Why did my wife cross the road?
To go back to the same shoe shop we went to three hours ago.
How did the sheep cross the road?
It ram across.
A Duck is about to cross the road. A chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it, man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He had something to cock-a-doodle dooo!
Why did Hans cross the road alone?
Hans wanted to travel solo.
Why did the fox cross the road?
She was chasing the chicken.
Why did the reindeer cross the road?
Because he was tied to a chicken!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Why did the horse dance while crossing the road?
He was horsing around.
Why did the raccoon cross the road?
He saw you put out the garbage.
Why did the czar cross the road?
To get to his car.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why did the horse cross the road?
To get to the apple store.
Why did the potato run across the road?
So it wouldn’t get mashed.
What did the buffalo say when his son crossed the road?
-Bison.
Why couldn't the mathematician cross the road?
Because he kept trying to half the distance.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!
Why did the toddler cross the road?
He wanted to pet the chicken.
Which bug always crosses the road?
A beetle.
Why did the spy cross the road?
Because he was never on your side.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Why didn’t the flamingo cross the road?
Because he’s not a chicken.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get out of the barking lot.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn’t exist yet.
Why did the coyote cross the road?
It was chasing the road runner.
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school.
Why did the lion cross the road?
He was bored of lion around.
Why does the tin keep crossing the road?
Because it can.
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