Jungle Jokes

You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Explorer Gives Talk In Seaside Town A famous British explorer was invited to a seaside town to give a talk about his adventures in the African jungle. “Can you imagine a people so primitive that they love to eat the embryos of a certain bird and slices of the belly of a certain animal?” the explorer asked the assembled audience. Its members gasped and looked around at each other in horror. “They also grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear the result with a greasy mess that’s extracted from the mammary fluid of certain other animals,” the explorer continued. “Utterly barbaric! How can people live like that?” said a shocked individual. “All I’ve described is a breakfast of bacon, eggs and buttered toast, sir!” retorted the explorer. Moral of the story: Don't be quick to judge cultures before you understand your own!
Tiger vs. Dog A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and before long discovers that he is lost. Wandering about he notices a tiger heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch. The dog thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep trouble now!" Then he notices some bones on the ground close by and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching tiger. Just as the tiger is about to leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man! That was one delicious tiger. I wonder if there are any more around here." Hearing this, the tiger halts his attack in mid-stride as a look of terror overcomes him and slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the tiger. "That was close. That dog nearly had me." Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put his knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the tiger. So, off he goes. But the dog sees him heading after the tiger with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the tiger, spills the beans, and strikes a deal for himself with the tiger. The tiger is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving dog." Now the dog sees the tiger coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" Instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers pretending he hasn't seen them yet. And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says, "Where's that monkey? I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another tiger, and he's still not back!" The tiger ran away.
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
The tiger came went to the salon. Now, other animals of the jungle call him 'Shaved Khan.'
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells, jungle bells…
If you were in the jungle and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
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