Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Wel'l Wel'l Wel'l - if it isn't autocorrect.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
I went into a bar with a keyboard under my arm. The barman said "Oi! We don"t want your typing in here".
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Why was the IT guy in the hospital?
He touched the firewall.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.