What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.