How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.