What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Another term for hair that's tied up in a bun is
a hairball
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I was going to shave my face but my razor was blunt.
It said, "You look ugly without a beard."
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.