What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What did the wig say to the head?
I got you covered.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.