What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
My wife is always telling me I shouldn’t stick Q-tips so far in my ear
At least that’s what I think she was saying.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
What do you call an eye specialist with a short shirt?
A crop-toptometrist
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
Why is Pavlov's hair so soft?
Because he conditions it.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.