A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
I've got 4 eyes, 3 legs, 1 tail, and 12 toes. What am I?
A liar.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
Called in sick to work one day complaining about my eyes.
When they asked what's wrong I said:
“I just can’t see myself coming in to work today.”
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"