What do you call Bears without ears
B.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
my nose starts bleeding at eleven every night
but I’ve seen stranger things.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
I saw my neighbor, slumped over his lawnmower, crying his eyes out.
I think he’s going through a rough patch.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
Where are noses made?
At the olfactory.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
Bad puns are how eye roll.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
"IT’S A LIEEEEE!!"
What do you call a person with a peg nose acting suspicious?
Suspeg.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
My mate had an accident and lost his ear. The doctors were able to graft on a new one made of pig skin.
His hearing is now quite fine, but every now and then he gets some crackling.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.