Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Why did the female chef win the cook-off?
Because cheese grater!
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.