If I were to wander around in Italy...
Would I be roamin'?
Did you hear about the watchmaker who is half Spanish and half Irish?
His name is Juan O'Clock.
Me and my friend were going to a costume party. He told me he was coming as a small island off the coast of Italy.
I said don’t be Sicily.
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
How does Italy execute its criminals?
Guidotine.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
What milk comes from Spain?
Soy Milk.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Who holds sermons during Sunday in Italy?
The Pasta.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What is the call of a Spanish speaking owl?
Quién...Quién.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football
Nobody expects the Spanish in position.
What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is in Italy
So it’s italicized!
What do you call the generation of people that migrated from Italy?
Genitalia.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”