What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What do you call a periodic table with gold missing? "Au revoir"
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
The Exotic Breakfast
The Exotic Breakfast A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry. He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, "Try our Exotic Breakfast now" so he walks in and sits down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks what he wants. The man asks, "What's your Exotic Breakfast?" "Baked tongue of chicken," she proudly replies The man shouts, "Baked tongue of chicken! Have you any idea how disgusting that is? I'd never even think about eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth! Urrghhh!!" The waitress is a little taken aback, but stays calm and asks him, "No problem, sir. What would you prefer, then?" The man says, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
Relationship status - table for one but drinks for two.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Who was the roundest knight at King Arthur's round table?
Sir Cumference.
After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table.
I needed a run up, but I made it.
There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour;
For while he was able,
He slept on a table.
That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls