Tongue Jokes

The fact that I'm missing some teeth only means that there's more room for your tongue.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
War of the Genders A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between girls and boys, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She sticks her tongue at the boy and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!”
I tried giving my cat a bath and it sucked...
I couldn't get the fur off my tongue for a week.
The Exotic Breakfast A man is walking along the street one morning, feeling hungry. He sees a sign in the window of a restaurant that says, "Try our Exotic Breakfast now" so he walks in and sits down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks what he wants. The man asks, "What's your Exotic Breakfast?" "Baked tongue of chicken," she proudly replies The man shouts, "Baked tongue of chicken! Have you any idea how disgusting that is? I'd never even think about eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth! Urrghhh!!" The waitress is a little taken aback, but stays calm and asks him, "No problem, sir. What would you prefer, then?" The man says, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Babe are you candy? Because I will make you melt with my tongue.
My tongue still craves your kind of sweet baby.
Starts off in the morning, wakes up at six,
Grooms itself using its tongue and licks.
I give it breakfast with a friendly pat.
That's the daily morning of my cat.

Returns for lunch at one o' clock.
Eats milk rice and then goes for a walk.
Sometimes even hunts and catches a rat.
That's the daily afternoon of my cat.

Naps after lunch outside my door.
Sleeps so deeply, perhaps even snores.
Doesn't like the ground; it prefers a mat.
That's the daily evening of my cat.

Wakes up refreshed and comes for dinner.
Does it eat too much? Shouldn't it be thinner?
Eats and sleeps - hope it doesn't get fat.
That's the daily night of my cat.

(M. Tarun Prasad)
Black and white
Thick and furry
Fast as the wind
Always in a hurry
Couple of spots
Rub my ears
Always comes when his name he hears
Loves his ball; it's his favorite thing
What's most fun for him? Everything!
Great big tongue that licks my face
Has a crate, his very own space
Big brown eyes like moon pies
He's my friend till the very end!

(Abby Jenkins)
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.
Foul spoken coward, that thund’rest with thy tongue, and with thy weapon nothing dares perform.
Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of Nile.
How long does it take a man to change the toilet paper? We don't know it's never happened. What's the definition of a woman's perfect lover? A man with a nine inch tongue who can breath through his ears.
You know, less teeth means more tongue.
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