Clock

Why were the two whores travelling in London pissed off? Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock.
What did the German clock maker say to the clock that only went "tick tick tick"?
Ve haf vays to make you tock...
Whats the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window? Because he wanted to see time fly!
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Are you a clock?
Because you're ticking me off.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
What do you call a clock on the moon?
A lunartick.