Orthodox

A Neo-Nazi Walks Into a Bar
A Neo-Nazi Walks Into a Bar A Neo-Nazi walks into a bar, looks around, and notices an older orthodox Jewish man seated at a nearby table. Barman, he says, "A round on me, for all your patrons, but not for the old Jewish geezer right there." As everyone in the bar receives their drinks, he looks directly at the Jew with a nasty little smile. Surprisingly the Jew nods his head and sends a warm smile back. The Neo-Nazi is somewhat miffed, as this was not the reaction he expected. So he goes back to the bar. "Barman, a second round for everyone but him, and this time take it all from the top shelf." The Neo-Nazi looks again at the Jew and notices that he is STILL smiling back, and even warmer than before "Is that Jew a complete fool or what?" he asks the barman. The bartender shrugs: "Well he does own the bar."
The Non-Kosher Rabbi
The Non-Kosher Rabbi An orthodox Rabbi walks into a restaurant. It’s not a kosher place, but he thinks “what the heck, why not? I should try one time in my life” He asks for a seat outside. He looks at the menu, and decides if he’s gonna eat non-Kosher food, he’s going to do it in the biggest way possible. He orders a whole, roasted suckling pig, complete with multiple sauces and an apple in its mouth. The dish comes out, and just as the waiter is setting it as his table, the rabbi sees one of his congregants walking towards him on the sidewalk. The rabbi is terrified of being caught. Panicking, he shouts out “Would you look how they serve an apple here??”