When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving
“Last Thanksgiving I shot my own turkey. It was fun. That shot gun going, "Blam! Blam!"
Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?”
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
I had to do something about my addiction to Thanksgiving leftovers.
Cold turkey was the only way to do it.
On Thanksgiving dinner, most of us turn into hipsters.
We all go out of our way to eat the turkey before it is cool.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
What happens when you seriously overstuff yourself with turkey at Thanksgiving?
You have a few slices of pumpkin pie.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
In what country is Thanksgiving, ironically, not celebrated? Turkey.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.