Appreciate Jokes

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde
Why does the earth appreciate the moon so much?
It keeps the oceans tidy.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
Why do husbands appreciate hell?
At least there, they know what they did wrong.
"People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit." - George Burns
A Snail On a Mission A bear, a moose, a fox, a wolf and a snail were playing cards around a table. Suddenly, the bear let out a faint roar and said: “Guys, I’m hungry. Could someone go buy some chocolate, or whatever?” The moose shook his head and nodded towards the fox, who irritatingly slammed his little paw on the table and muttered: “Why me? Why can’t the wolf do it?” But the snail bravely interrupted the conversation, before it got out of hand: “Guys, guys! There’s no reason to fight. I’ll go.” The bear smiled a little and handed the snail a few, rolled-up dollars from his pockets: “Thanks, man. I appreciate it. While you’re at it, buy something to drink, will ya?” The snail winked, grabbed the money and briskly started to make his way out the door. Half an hour went by... An hour... An hour and a half... Almost two hours... At last, the bear snapped, dropped his cards to the floor and yelled: “Hey, you know what? I think the little bastard took the money and just left!” A small yet fierce scream then came from near the door: “If you’re gonna start insulting me, I’m not leaving at all!”
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
I just had to tell you. Your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.
Jehovahs witnesses don’t celebrate halloween
I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming to their door
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.”
Oscar Wilde
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