What nut is broken?
“A silly nut”
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
What do you call a nut that is crazy about exercise? A health nut.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
What is the most popular valentine among nuts? The one that says “I’m nuts for you.”
The police have been interrogating the walnut for several mi-nuts now. It’s a tough nut to crack!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
What did the nut say when it caught on fire? Roast-nuts, almond fire!
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
What do you call a nut who works hard? One who burns the mid-nut oil.
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
What did the nut husband tell his wife? “Nut-ing lasts forever, except my love for you!”
What is the angriest nut?
Pissed-aschios
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
Not every legume can be a nut.
But a pea can.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
Where do the best kola nuts come from? Kolafornia.