Movie Jokes

No Secrets in Marriage
No Secrets in Marriage Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate...and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!" Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've...I've been a hooker." "That's alright." Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself...
This movie is not the only thing in the room that's feature-length.
I think you are a horror movie because I can't sleep when I think about you.
Is That You?
Is That You? Wife and husband are sitting together sipping wine and watching a movie. The Wife suddenly whispers: "I Love You..." Husband: "Is that you or the wine talking?" Wife: "It's me talking to the wine."
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
When the ghost watched a sad movie he started boo-hooing.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
I asked my husband to please press pause on the movie We were watching.
He called the dog over for the task, wanted to press his paws.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Who's a witch's favorite movie director?
Steven Spellberg.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Did you know this mall has a movie theater? I just saw a preview of our life together. Looks pretty good!
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