Museum Jokes

Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
Vandals have attacked the National Origami Museum in Tokyo.
We'll keep you updated as the story unfolds.
What did the Cat burglar say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?
I did it for the Monet.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
The Burglar and the Sad Guard
The Burglar and the Sad Guard A burglar was sneaking into a museum, and he had to get past the guard on duty. As he snuck behind the guard, he couldn't help but notice the guard had his head in his hands, and he was crying. "I can't believe I've worked here for 10 years, and everyone has forgotten my birthday again!" He moaned. "Longer hours, more work, and no appreciation! I can't do this anymore!" The guard said to himself as he continued to sob. The burglar could easily sneak past, but found himself feeling bad for the guard. Instead of proceeding with his plan, the burglar's sympathy for the guard got the better of him. He marched right down to the museum curator's office and kicked in the door. There sat the director of the museum, the head of HR, and the head of security in a meeting. "What are you doing here? How did you get pass the guard?!?" shouted the museum director. "Gentlemen," said the burglar, "I'm afraid you've let your guard down."
Are you the British museum?
‘Cuz you stole my (he)art
No Secrets in Marriage
No Secrets in Marriage Ed and Carolyn met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Carolyn to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Carolyn was indeed his soul mate...and true love. Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Carolyn to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem for us, you'd better say so now!" Carolyn took a deep breath and responded, "Ed that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for the last five years I've...I've been a hooker." "That's alright." Ed said, "I bet it's because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball.”
Why did you fall in love with the Paris art museum? It was just Louvre at first site.
Why was the museum curator so good at judging paintings and sculptures? He was talented at art official intelligence.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
I thought this was a bar, but I must be in a museum because you’re a piece of art.
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