Three high ranking Axis soldiers are about to be interrogated during WWII.
One is a member of the Gestapo, one is an Imperial Japanese officer and one is a Fascist Italian Commander.
They are all sitting in their holding cell discussing what they are going to do when they get interrogated.
The German says, "My superior German spirit and intelligence will make it impossible for them to break me."
The Japanese says, "It is only through my undying devotion to the Emperor that I will be able to withstand their torture."
The Italian says, "I've had it."
The German is the first to be interrogated, and as he leaves they wish him luck.
Nearly a whole day passes before the German returns to the cell, covered in bruises and blood.
The other two ask him what happened.
"Even my perfect genes could not protect me from their methods. I have failed my country,"
Next, the Japanese is up to be interrogated.
Three days pass and he returns to the cell.
His eyes are both black, fingers broken, and body bruised and bloodied.
"I have dishonored myself and my Emperor. When they release me, I must commit honorable seppuku."
Lastly, the Italian is up, and he leaves already begging for his life.
A whole week passes before he returns.
Beaten nearly to death, he is carried in by two soldiers.
One of the soldiers jeers, "I can't believe you guys broke instead of this dago. He's a real man, not like you girls."
The other two are shocked and amazed that this Italian could take their punishments and not break.
They ask him how he did it. He didn't strike them as so formidable.
"I wanted to give in immediately, but I couldn't speak."
"What do you mean you couldn't speak?" The others ask.
"The bastards tied my hands behind my back!"
Colonel Reichman, an interrogation specialist for the German army, was walking around in a quaint little Swiss village one day during WWII. He spots a little shop selling clocks and watches and decides to enter.
Inside, the owner, a lady standing behind the counter, immediately recognizes who he is and welcomes him into the shop, asking how she can be of assistance.
"Frauline,” he starts "Deez are all very nice little clocks and vatches you have in here, but ze von I am interested in is zat big grandfazer clock you have outside above your door.”
“Nein colonel, I am sorry, but zat grandfazer clock is not for sale. It is a showpiece of ze little shop." she answers.
"Frauline, don’t gif me that! You know who I am, and ven I say I vant zat grandfazer clock, you give me ze bloody grandfazer clock!" he retorts impatiently.
"Colonel, vhy vould you vant zat clock anyvay? It is broken. It does not vork!" she says.
“Vhy frauline? Vhat is wrong with ze clock?" he asks.
"Colonel, ze pendulum only svings von vay, ze bloody thing only goes TICK, TICK, TICK and it cannot go TOCK." she answers.
He gets a grin on his face and says "Haha, don't you vorry about zat frauline! Vhere ve come from, ve haf vays of making it TOCK!"
It was 1943 during WWII, and an Italian officer, an imperial Japanese officer and a German officer got captured.
They all sit in a cell and wait to be interrogated by the Allies.
The German says: "My superior genetics will let me withstand every torture! I won't tell them anything!"
The Japanese says: "I will never dishonor my country and tell them our secrets!"
The Italian says: "I guess I'm screwed."
First they pick the German and pull him out of the cell away from the others. The next day they bring him back with bruises and cuts everywhere and he says: "I have failed, I told them everything."
Next they pick the Japanese. Two days later they bring him back badly beaten up and in a bad condition. He says: "I have dishonored the emperor and i don't deserve this life! I told them everything."
Now they pick the Italian, who is already crying and asking for mercy. For two weeks they don't hear anything from the Italian and start wondering what happened to him.
Then they bring him back, in a horrible condition, barely alive and the guard says: "I would have never believed that you guys would speak and the Italian is the one who wouldn't say a word to us."
They throw him back in the cell and the German and the Japanese rush to him and ask what happened and why he didn't say anything.
The Italian answers: "Mamma mia, I wanted to tell them everything, but then they tied my hands behind my back!"