I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.