Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?"
Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.