What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend But it just won't cut it.
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man? The knife has a point.
Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops. Today he died of his gunshot wounds.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said: “This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down He was the very model of shivalry.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns? Go for the juggler.
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo. The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain. Apparently, it was a Dyson.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth? A pairing knife
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business. He made some excellent points.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils? Fork Knife.
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm... Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!” He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
Fork: "Who was that ladle I saw you with last night?" Spoon: "That was no ladle. That was my knife."