The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
I would not be able to picture myself without having a camera phone.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
My father said that there was a bug on my computer. The bug was trying to eat one byte at a time.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
My father got a new laptop, and it is now like the baby computer of the house, so we refer to the older laptop as the 'Data'.
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I imagine eventually there will be a day when we have a WiFi hotspot on Mt. Everest.
Only then will we reach peak internet.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
I almost had a predicament trying to call someone in the same room as me. It was a close call.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Where do phones like to travel?
To the Great Call of China!
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.