Where do Astronauts go to the bathroom?
Where no one has gone before.
Who is the first farmer to walk on the moon?
Neil Farmstrong.
The moon landing is obviously fake.
The moon is clearly still up there.
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
If an astronaut steps on chewing gum then what will happen to him? He will simply be stuck on the Orbit.
Why wouldn’t the Moon come to the Sun’s funeral?
It isn’t a mourning person
How does a quarter moon always feel?
Crestfallen.
"I heard some dictator wants to move the Earth further from the sun."
"Why??"
"Because it will take longer to make a full revolution."
What planet is next to Uranus?
Poopiter.
I could have been an astronaut...
but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
Astronaut 1: I can't find any milk for my coffee.
Astronaut 2: In space, no one can. Here, use cream.
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around eventually.
Reading sun puns while sunbathing make one well red.
What's E.T. short for?
Because he's got little legs.
Why can’t people hear your scream in the space? Because it’s miles away.
Becoming a space pilot is not easy. It requires a good altitude.
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
I know she means well.
What do moon people do after they get married?What do moon people do after they get married?
Go on their honeyearth.
What did Mars tell to Saturn? Give me a ring sometime!
I was up all night wondering where the sun had gone for so long but then it finally dawned on me.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What does someone mean by a light year? The same as a regular year, but with less calories and fat.
Well, there are mixed reviews. People say the food is great. But there is no atmosphere or ambience.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
Wanna know a way for werewolves to howl other than the full moon?
Make them stub their toe.
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
Have you heard the one about the spaceship that came to Earth?
Never mind its over your head.
How do planets staying busy during hunting season?
By shooting stars.
Elon Musk is now the richest person on the planet.
Space X has really taken off this past year.
How do astronauts prepare for a birthday party
They planet.
What is suns favorite chocolate bar?
A milky way.
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
What did Neil Armstrong say when people didn't laugh at his moon jokes?
"I guess you had to be there."
What is an astronaut's favorite candy bar?
Milky way.
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
What would’ve happen if the Apollo astronauts stayed on the lunar surface for too long?
They would’ve been lunatics.
Where can you read about planets exploding?
In the orbituaries.
What is a lightyear?
The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
What do you call a fashionable, but judgmental monster who howls at the moon?
A What Not To Wear-Wolf.
It is difficult to hold up a trouser. How does Jupiter does it? Simply, with an asteroid belt.
What does Earth get on Earth day ?
A birthday quake !
How many astronomers will it take to just change a lightbulb? None, they like the dark.
Whats the first day of the week called in outer space?
Moonday.
Why is the taste of moon rock better than that of Earth rock? Because it’s a little meteor.
There's this vampire who's more powerful than any other, because he can't be hurt by the sun
All other vampires pale in comparison.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.